Changing People

It’s a couple of days before the end of 2010 and I have been thinking of what to write as my last blog for the year – And I think I have come up with one – relating with people, yes people!

Does it surprise you how easily affected we are by the behavior of people around us? I do, and not once. Sometimes I wish I could replace what I consider burnt-out coils in some people. Did you know that you cannot control what people say, but you can control what you process? There are people in my life I’d never give the time of day on what they told me – I’d listen but it ends there. Honestly though, I have wished to change some people, so they can be better people, but I realized in so doing I’d be selfish because if each of us had the power to change somebody, we’d have one crazy world. God created us in his likeness and only he can change us to be whatever he wants us to be!

If you are keen in seeing change in people, start with you. Stop seeing the other person as the one needing change. Stop seeing the ‘problem child’ in others, rather have a keen look at yourself, and see the change you need to make. Stop seeing the other person as the person messing the party and see you as the spoiler needing to change. Start changing the area in your life that is di-synchronizing the value system, the relationship, the friendship. Stop seeing the specks in other people wondering who will help them get the specks out of their eyes and remove the log from your eyes first.

I don’t know if you have been around people who constantly complain about ‘the other person’ and how inconsiderate other people are and so on. Granted, there are inconsiderate people around us, but truly the last assignment you want is to change people. Choose instead to live at peace with them. Insofar as it concerns you, purpose to live at peace, with all men. Make it your duty to see that you are at peace with all people – it’s healthy. The bible reminds us in Romans 12:18 “to live at peace with all men insofar as it concerns us” or if possible. We need to be the first to make that effort to live at peace, let’s drop all our differences because they will be there, let’s drop all judgments we may have against one another, let’s drop all selfish opinions, and let’s live at peace with one another.

Realize (whether you accept this or not) that people relationship equals success. Let’s put that in another way. Success is all about people, and there is no way you can be successful as a person without other people. You cannot succeed in life alone. We all need people and we cannot live in disharmony. Value people, regardless of what they may have done, or said about you – I heard one woman say “I love him but I do not like him” – whatever the case, don’t allow hatred into your life even if you have to fake it. Paul tells the Romans in Romans 12 – “bless those who persecute you, rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (Scornfully and condescendingly proud) but associate with the lowly”.

One strategy the devil uses over us is to make us victims. He brings condescending people our way, totally annoying people to compromise our faith. As a result, being unable to tolerate them, some people have had to move from one church to another, from one city to another, and from one employment to another. If you ever see yourself as the victim, always wronged, always hurt, always targeted, then you need to raise your standard.

When King David was walking one evening with his entourage, a mad man started hurling insults and throwing stones at him, but David and his men kept walking, unbothered. David’s men asked him for permission to take him down, but David would not hear of it. Instead he told them “It may be that the LORD will see my distress and repay me with good for the cursing I am receiving today.”[2 Samuel 16:13] There are some battles that are not worth fighting, and when you do, the outcome will not bring any gratification or justify the effort. Don’t be the victim!

If this year you struggled with some friends, you don’t have to hate them, love them and let them move on. Find a niche and purpose to live at peace with all men – it’s good for your health you know!

Some people are talented in talking about others – did you see how he dressed last Sunday, did you see how he talked to her, why is she being treated better than us, and so on and so crap – let them, and don’t let it bother you. At the end of the road they will be the ones struggling with poor health as you trot on in robust health.

As this year comes to an end, and we embrace the New Year 2011, purpose to live at peace with all men regardless of their background, religion, or race. Be the first to reach out to your family members if you never did before; reach out to that friend who fell by the wayside, reach out to that obnoxious colleague at work. Purpose to reach out where you never did before, that could be the secret to your success. Don’t let anyone steal your joy, instead walk on. In so doing you will be changing people beyond what you can think or imagine.


2 thoughts on “Changing People

  1. Thanks for this post. I equally agree with what you are saying. I have been talking about this subject a lot lately with my father so normally this will get him to see my point of view. Fingers crossed!

    1. Thanks for writing, sometimes we do get carried away trying very hard to change people. It’s a dauntiful task, and a job not worth doing. Let the manufacturer recall and make the changes, I have no ability to change anyone! I will live at peace with them though.

      Let me know what your father thinks.

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