Have you ever thought of how powerful these two words are? Let me ask this differently. Do you remember how you felt when someone from the blue came and told you “thank you for ….”? These can confuse your purported enemy to a position of not knowing how to deal with you anymore. They can diffuse anger so profusely and suddenly to the surprise of both, the one uttering them and the one hearing. They have such profound power to calm the wildest heart, and heal the deepest hurt.
I don’t know if this has ever happened to you. But have you ever walked to someone and genuinely acknowledge them “I like your pants, they look great on you.” However, expecting a thank you, this is what you hear from them; “O this one, actually it was gift from my wife. She blah… blah…” and goes on to irrelevancies. Or, “I bought it at a sale last year, I’m glad you like it.” Yet others, “These old pants, I have not worn them like a year or so…” They totally miss the point and a simple response. How about a simple “thank you”?
It’s rumored (yes…just rumored) that most arguments among married couples occur when they are driving in one car and often when the man is driving. The wife innocently, points out something that needs attention, for the most part in the politest way possible, for example; “I think you are driving too fast…” or “you need to add some gas…” or “you should have taken that other road”, and whichever the case, this brings a very different (let’s call it negative) response, with one thing leading to another. How about, if the person being “helped” just responded and said, “why, thank you, I should have thought of that!” That argument would diffuse instantly, but no, that’s just wishful thinking.
Daily, we are confronted by opportunities requiring us to say a simple “thank you” but instead we miss the chance and grunt or saying other unsavory words. For example, when your spouse prepares a cup of tea/coffee for you, wouldn’t a “thank you” add a feather on her crown?, or a thank you appreciating your spouse when he/she mentions the shirt or skirt you are wearing conflicts with who you are and where you are going or when a friend accompanies you to a place where he/she would rather not have been – a simple “thank you for accompanying me” acts like fuel in your relationship.
You can use the words “thank you” literary everywhere. When you don’t know what else to say, simply say, “Thank you”. Marshall Goldsmith in his bestselling book “What got you here won’t get you there”, suggests “the next time someone offers you advice or “helps you” with something as important as ‘commenting on your driving’, don’t punish the messenger and don’t say a word. Stop whatever you’re thinking of saying-unless it’s ‘thank you!’”
Thank you for reading this article!